The Next Survivor Series

Six married men will be dropped on an island

with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports and either take

music or dance classes. There is no fast food.

Each man must take care of his 3 kids;

keep his assigned house clean,

correct all homework, complete science projects,

cook, do laundry, and pay a list of "pretend"

bills with not enough money. In addition,

each man will have to budget in money for

groceries--> each week. Each man must

remember the birthdays of all their friends and

relatives, and send cards out on time.

Each man must also take each child to a

doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment

and a haircut appointment. He must make one

unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child

to the Urgent Care (weekend, evening,

on a holiday or right when they're about to leave

for vacation). He must also make cookies or

cupcakes for a social function. Each man will be

responsible for decorating his own assigned house,

planting flowers outside and keeping it

presentable at all times.The men will only have

access to television when the kids are asleep

and all chores are done. There is only one TV

between them, and a remote with dead batteries.

Each father will be required to know all of the

words to every stupid song that comes on TV and

the name of each and every character on cartoons.

The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily,

which they will apply to themselves either while

driving or making three lunches. Each man will

have to make an Indian hut model with six

toothpicks, a tortilla and one marker; and get a

4 year old to eat a serving of peas. Each man must

adorn himself with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet

stylish shoes, keep their nails polished and

eyebrows groomed. The men must try to get

through each day without snot, spit-up or

barf on their clothing. During one of the six weeks,

the men will have to endure severe abdominal

cramps, back aches, and have extreme

unexplained mood swings, but never once

complain or slow down from other duties.

They must try to explain what a tampon is for

when the 6-yr old boy finds it in the purse.

They must attend weekly school meetings, church,

and find time at least once to spend the afternoon

at the park or a similar setting. He will need to

read a book and then pray with the children each

night without falling asleep, and then feed them,

dress them, brush their teeth and comb

their hair each morning by 7:00.

They must leave the home with no food

on their face or clothes. A test will be given

at the end of the six weeks, and each father

will be required to know all of the following

information: each child'sbirthday, height,

weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor's name.

Also the child's weight at birth, length,

time of birth, and length of labor, each child's

favorite color, middle name, favorite snack,

favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy,

biggest fear and what they want to be when

they grow up. They must clean up after their

sick children at 2:00 a.m. and then spend the

remainder of the day tending to that child

and waiting on them- hand and foot- until

they are better. They must have a loving,

age appropriate reply to, "You're not the

boss of me". The kids vote them off the island

based on performance. The last man wins

only if...he still has enough energy to be

intimate with his spouse at a moment's notice.

If the last man does win, he can play the game

over and over and over again for the next

18-25 years...eventually earning the right

to be called Mother!