Tuesday, January 24, 2006

COINCIDENCE???


Interesting Year 1981
1. Prince Charles got married.
2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of Europe.
3. Australia lost the Ashes tournament.
4. Pope Died!

Interesting Year 2005
1. Prince Charles got married.
2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of Europe.
3. Australia lost the Ashes tournament.
4. Pope Died!

In the future, if Prince Charles decides to remarry,
... please warn the Pope!!!

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

a Trip 2 the Doc's


A woman goes to the doctor for her yearly physical.
The nurse starts with certain basic items.
"How much do you weigh?" she asks.
"115," she says. The nurse puts her on the scale.
It turns out her weight is 140.
The nurse asks, "Your height?" "5 foot 8," she says.
The nurse checks and sees that she only
measures 5'5". She then takes her blood pressure
and tells the woman it is very high.
"Of course it's high!" she screams,
"When I came in here I was tall and slender!
Now I'm short and fat!"

Tuesday, January 17, 2006


BEAR WITH ME:
My husband (and I'm usin the term LOOSELY)

Got Mad at Me Sunday and DELETED

ALL OF MY FILES!!!

All my Pictures, links, and material 4 future
posts ARE GONE!!!
I tried EVERYTHING 2 retrieve them,
but failed miserably!
So, as a result, my upkeep has s-l-o-w-e-d
a little. I hope 2 b back up 2 speed by the
end of the week!
:"(

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

1905~CANADA


One hundred years ago:
What a difference a century makes!
Here are some of the CANADIAN statistics
for the Year 1905 :
The average life expectancy in Canada was 47 years.
Only 14 percent of the homes in Canada
had a bathtub.
Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone.
A three-minute call from Montreal to Toronto
cost eleven dollars.
There were only 8,000 cars in the U.S. and CANADA,
and only 144 miles of paved roads.
The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.
The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower!
The average wage in Canada was 22 cents per hour.
The average Canadian worker made between $200
and $400 per year.
A competent accountant could expect to earn
$2000 per year, a dentist $2,500 per year,
a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year,
and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year.
More than 95 percent of all births in Canada
took place at home .
Ninety percent of all Canadian doctors
had no college education.
Instead, they attended
so-called medical schools, many of which
were condemned in the press and by the
government as "substandard."
Sugar cost four cents a pound.
Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen.
Coffee was fifteen cents a pound.
Most women only washed their hair once a month,
and used borax or egg yolks for shampoo.
Canada passed a law that prohibited poor people
from entering into their country for any reason.
Five leading causes of death in 1905 were:
1. Pneumonia and influenza
2. Tuberculosis
3. Diarrhea
4. Heart disease
5. Stroke
The population of Las Vegas, Nevada, was only 30!
Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and ice tea
hadn't been invented yet.
There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day.
Two out of every 10 Canadian adults couldn't read or write.
Only 6 percent of all Canadians had graduated
from high school.
Marijuana, heroin, and morphine
were all available over the counter
at the local corner drug stores.
Back then pharmacist said,
"Heroin clears the complexion,
gives buoyancy to the mind, regulates the stomach
and bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health."
(Shocking!)
Eighteen percent of households in Canada
had at least one full-time servant or domestic help.
And I posted this via e-mail without typing it myself,
and U view it in a matter of seconds!

Sunday, January 08, 2006

the PASSWORD is.....

A woman was helping her husband set up his computer.
At the appropriate point in the process,
she told him that he would now have to enter a password,
something he could easily remember,
and will use each time he has to log on.
The husband was in a rather amorous mood
and figured he would try for the shock effect
2 bring this to his wife's attention.
So, when the computer asked him to
enter his password, he made it
plainly obvious to his wife that he was keying in....

..P
......E
.........N
.............I
................S

His wife fell off her chair laughing,
when the computer replied:
PASSWORD REJECTED -
NOT LONG ENOUGH!!!

Thursday, January 05, 2006

AZZICONS

Need 2 describe U'r azz or
someone else's over the Internet,
but need it 2 b visual?
Well, how about some "azzicons"?

(_!_) A REGULAR AZZ

(__!__) A FAT AZZ

(__) (__) A "WIDE LOAD" AZZ

(!) A TIGHT AZZ

(_*_) A SORE AZZ

{_!_} A SWISHY AZZ

(_o_) AN AZZ THAT'S BEEN AROUND

(_O_) A PRISON AZZ

(_x_) KISS MY AZZ

(_X_) LEAVE MY AZZ ALONE!

(_z_) A TIRED AZZ

(_E=mc2_) A SMART AZZ

(_?_) A DUMB AZZ

(_Lame_) A LAME AZZ

(_Jack_) A JACKAZZ

(_-$_) A CHEAP AZZ

(_) A HALF-AZZ

(_)(__) A LOPSIDED AZZ

(_:_) A DOUBLE-HOLED AZZ

(MOM)(__) A TATTOOED AZZ

(_)(_) A FUDGED AZZ

()() AZZ PRINT ON WINDOW

( * * ) A DIMPLED AZZ

(_XX_) A KICKED AZZ

(_%_) AN AVERAGE AZZ

(_$_) A RICH AZZ

[_!_] A HARD AZZ

(o) AN AZZ HOLE

(O) A BIG AZZHOLE

(=>o) A F*CKN AZZ

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

The CRAZY RED-HEAD WHO IN:

January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels... "duh"... bottles won't fit in typewriter!
March - Got excited... finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months... box said "2-4 years!"
April - Trapped on escalator for hours... power went out!!!
May - Tried to make Kool-Aid... 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!
June - Tried to go water skiing... couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition... learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!
August - Got locked out of car in rain storm... car swamped, because top was down.
September - The capital of California is "C"... isn't it???
October - Hate M &M's... they are so hard to peel.
November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days... instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!!
December - Couldn't call 911... "duh"... there's no "eleven" button on the phone!
What a year!!!