ROCK of AGES...
TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad,
........don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. T
........hey always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's lap.
GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just
.......yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber,
.........not the toy.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD:
1) Growing up is mandatory; growing old is optional.
2) Forget the health food.
......... I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder
.........what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation
........from a rocking chair
............that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers,
.......but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age,
.......but sometimes age comes alone.
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.
SUCCESS:
At age 4 success is ...not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is... having friends.
At age 16 success is ... having a drivers license.
At age 35 success is ... having money.
At age 50 success is ... having money.
At age 70 success is ... having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is ... having friends.
At age 80 success is ... not peeing in your pants.
posted by starbender at 9:19 AM
8 Comments:
Hi Dr. George!
U'r welcome daily, U might want 2 check out my other site, CLICK HERE
;]
Oh Yeah~~ I've always
wanted 2 say this:
'WHAT'S UP DOC?'
:o
Great list. Reminds me of a joke. Three old guys are sitting around swappin' the shit at an old folks home. The first old man says, ' Every morning I eat a bowl of high fiber cereal and I still can't go to the bathroom.' The second old man says, ' I eat a bowl of prunes every day and also take laxative powder and I still can't go to the bathroom.' The third old man says, 'I am regular as clockwork. Every morning at seven I shit like a big eyed bird.' The other two guys look up and tell him that is great. The old guy just says,' Not really, I don't wake up til eight.'
BTW, I really like your new user pic.
OMG~ I knew someone, who did something very similiar 2 that. It was truly discusssssting! Poor girl, just didn't have all her marbles! ....and thanx, I like quasars!
:]
These are great starbender. Just been looking around on the blogs. I just got started on my new one. I posted a link to your blog. I hope you don't mind. Take care and keep the smiles coming.
Kara
i like dis one best
1) Growing up is mandatory; growing old is optional.
i hope u and i never grow old
This site is one of the best I have ever seen, wish I had one like this.
»
I have been looking for sites like this for a long time. Thank you! »
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